Metal Mummy

I love this place. I love its’ simplicity. I love that you can eat as much as you want, when you want, until you positively burst. I love how on-the-ball the staff are. As soon as you have finished a plate of food, they have cleared it. I don’t love that they clear things sometimes before you haven’t finished it (they took my soup before I’d eaten it). I also don’t love that they are so busy running around cleaning up people’s plates that they don’t pay much attention to the drinks which have ceased to flow. I also don’t love that it takes a couple of tries to get their attention to order some more drinks to replace the ones that have been cleared away.

Anyway, that’s my summary. The Water Margin can be found in Portsmouth at Gunwharf Quays (as well as one in London I believe). It’s an oriental buffet restaurant, where you can go in, be seated, order drinks and then help yourself to whatever you want to help yourself to. The sheer selection of stuff to choose from is massive. And they keep on top of it, so dishes are rarely empty. It’s all situated in one big circle – there’s one side which is starters (sesame toast, sesame chicken, soups, seaweed, prawn crackers etc) and one side which is main meals (sweet & sour, chicken & black bean sauce, egg fried rice, prawns, salmon, mussels, beef, lamb, duck) and in the middle is the dessert stand (a selection of cakes and ice cream, as well as jelly and fruit). At the back, is where you can choose to have things cooked in front of you rather than helping yourself from the buffet. I’ve not tried this part – I keep meaning to, but always end up stuffing my face with ready-available stuff, that the idea of waiting for something to be cooked for me requires a lot of effort and I can never be bothered.

We went there this evening – arrived shortly after 6. James’ aunty and uncle had come to visit, and we decided to go out for dinner with Freyja as well, so we needed to go relatively early. It was also to try and beat the masses who normally head out at about 8, but it was rammed when we got there. There’s loads of seating space though, so getting a table was no problem. We asked for a high chair, which arrived straight away (although it did look like it needed a proper clean – looked a bit greasy if you ask me). We ordered drinks (they ask you as soon as you go in, so make sure you know what you want because they don’t give you much chance to weigh up your options!).

The meal was excellent. All the options were available, hot, and tasted lovely. James’ uncle thought it was splendid, as did Freyja. Or at least that’s the impression I got, from her mouth full of crackers, seaweed and chicken & red wine balls. She loved it all! And kept nicking Kevin’s hoi sin sauce, dipping her crackers in it and sucking the sauce off them. We stayed for dessert – Freyja had a load of ice cream (3 small bowls at last count – you can tell she’s teething!) and we had the same. The only bad point would be that I had to ask at the bar for a tea spoon – they don’t make them available to pick up yourself like they do all other cutlery. It was a bit awkward, because the bar staff looked as though i shouldn’t have been asking them. But Freyja wanted a tea spoon! Other than that, it was lovely – it’s reasonably priced – especially when you consider how much you could technically eat for the money you spend. On a Saturday night, it’s about £14 per person, cheaper for kids – it’s even cheaper in the week. We had a bottle of wine as well – that, in my opinion – was a bit pricey for a house wine, but can’t complain. All in all, with drinks included, it came to just under £20 per head, so not too shabby.

We all thoroughly enjoyed it – it was nice to be out and having a lovely meal with family. Absolutely full to the brim now, and Freyja is recovering from her mighty meal in bed, fast asleep. Think it’s my turn now!