Another Pet Hate…
Posted in General
I told you when I took part in Kate’s listography that I would find more than 5 things to write about, and this one is another big gripe of mine.
It annoys me so much when people look at you as though you’re a crap mum.
For example, I was in Debenhams today having a bit of a mummy meet up with some fellow Netmums. Freyja has been a grumpy sod for the past 2 days, but she was OK in the restaurant whilst we were chatting. She was playing with her books and colouring. She had a couple of little whinges, but nothing major.
Before we left, we tootled down to the kids clothing section. I couldn’t resist… there was 20% off…
As soon as we stepped foot out of the lift, she was demonic. I’m pretty sure the 666 on her skull flared up and she turned into the female equivalent of Damien.
I can handle the strops. I can deal with them OK. What I don’t like is other people’s glares burning into the side of my head. They are the things that do my head in and stress me out. One woman even came up to me and said “Are you OK?”. Carry on shopping you interferer. Leave me and my child alone.
How in God’s name do they expect me, or any other mum, to deal with a child mid-tantrum who has limbs flying everywhere? It annoys me, because they look at you as though you should be doing more. As though you are the reason why they are stropping and if it was their kid, they would have diffused it already.
A lot of people try and say “oh, just stay calm. Speak to them nicely, they will calm down”. Bollocks. They don’t calm down. Well, mine doesn’t. She’s a bolshy little bugger when she gets going. Others say “oh, just ignore them. As soon as they realise they’re not getting attention, they’ll stop”. Bollocks. Mine doesn’t. She throws herself onto the floor and continues, no matter if I’m watching or not.
We were in the middle of the kids clothing section, and she was having a strop because she couldn’t go into the Staff Only part. Sorry love, you just can’t do it. She looks at me with anger. Then strops. So I say, “OK. I’m going now. If you don’t follow me, you’ll have to stay here on your own, because I’m going”. Normally, a child would be a bit scared of being on their own, wouldn’t they? I know this method worked when I was a kid. But what’s Freyja say? “OK, bye bye mummy”. And then waves and runs off and hides in amongst the summer dresses.
Great.
It really annoys me when people think you’re incapable.
It happened last week, when a fellow Netmum popped to the loo and overheard a couple of elderly woman complaining about us and our inability to keep our children under control, our inability to stay quiet and our apparent “too young to have children” appearance. I’m 27 for God’s sake. Our children were behaving well. They are children. They don’t have a quiet button. They were just playing nicely with their dolls on their own little table. Stop whining.
Have these people never had children before?
Shut up and keep your opinion to yourselves.
On this splended article there has been 21 comments...
-
-
Hannah (Thursday 3rd March 2011 @ 02:03 pm) (Reply to this)
It does really irritate me, especially as they would have had children. And, many moons ago, BEEN children.
Judgemental tossers.
-
-
Lauren "Real Housewife" (Thursday 3rd March 2011 @ 02:03 pm) (Reply to this)
I’m with you 100% on this one!!
Sounds like you handled Freyja really well, and as you say, we can handle our children!I had a horrid experience at the dentist recently. For the first time I decided to take Charles with me. First problem, the pram wouldn’t fit through the door, so I had to take him out, basically push him into the corridor and waiting room because he was too shy to go in, he then went and hid in the corner of the corridor, so I went into the waiting room, taking the pram, told them I was there for my appointment and would be back in 1 sec because I just had to grab my toddler.
Straight away she huffed.
I told the receptionist I had an exemption card so didn’t pay for my check ups, she straight away said in a patronising tone…”oh, for tax credits” to which I replied “no, maternity”. Well the look she gave me was of utter disgust.
I am really sensitive about this kind of thing and left the dentist that day feeling like poo. I’ve been going there for 25 years and never ever been treated bad at all.
And it wasn’t like Charles was misbehaving or moaning at all. He was just shy and needed a cuddle from me.
-
Hannah (Thursday 3rd March 2011 @ 02:03 pm) (Reply to this)
She sounds a delightful person to greet and help patients.
Nob. x
-
-
Ness (Thursday 3rd March 2011 @ 02:03 pm) (Reply to this)
seen this posted on facebook, so i thought i would stick my oar in.
Can you not control your child hannah? how dare you!!!On a more serious note, I agree with EVERYTHING you mentioned!!!
-
James (Thursday 3rd March 2011 @ 03:03 pm) (Reply to this)
I do say to you hun to ignore them. I know it’s difficult, and I know the feeling, I’m not on my own as much with Freyja as you are, but times when I’ve been down cascades and she strops I know the feeling. I don’t know about you hun, but I get that feeling even when no-one’s probably even watching or could care less – I just get that feeling regardless, like people are judging you. You know me anyway, I don’t like being around people and I feel my face burning up when stuff like that happens. I do feel for you hun honestly, and you’re a FANTASTIC mummy – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
You just keep doing what you’re doing baby, it’s obvious that Freyja is a happy, healthy little kid, and it’s because of what YOU do that she is so awesome. Without you she’d be a lot worse I’m sure. Look how much she giggles – walking round ASDA last night she was in stitches from both of us playing with her. She is so loved. She IS just a child and these things are gonna happen. Screw all those other people (the “haters”, AMIRITE?) their opinion doesn’t count for shit. They’re probably the shit mums anyway cuz they don’t understand that children do this shit, and children shouldn’t have to be “seen and not heard” these days – they should have freedom of expression and stuff, but have discipline where appropriate and not have the freedom taken for granted.
Aaaanyway, yeah, love you xxx [/rant]
-
Kate Takes 5 (Thursday 3rd March 2011 @ 05:03 pm) (Reply to this)
I agree with James! (What an utterly lovely hubby\partner\person…)
I’ve had moments in Tesco when all 3 of mine have been kicking off, and the 2 year old literally kicking off – flailing arms \ legs, hitting, screaming – and I have been ready to just leave the shopping (and them) behind. It is sooo stressful and the judgmental looks do not help. Though most of the other mothers are really just thinking – ‘phew! thank god it’s not mine today!’ Deep breaths. x
-
James (Friday 4th March 2011 @ 12:03 pm) (Reply to this)
*blushes* :)
I support Hannah in almost everything she says, she’s very level headed and a wonderful person, and she’s meeting some wonderful new people (albeit some of them are “intarwebs” friends, but it still matters!) and she doesn’t stop going on about her friends bless her. She’s the lovely one, I just help out here and there ;)
-
-
Beckickles (Friday 4th March 2011 @ 09:03 am) (Reply to this)
Yes! Yes!
Oh my gosh, yes!
My child sounds just like yours – if they’re having a paddy then they have it, regardless. There’s nothing you can do and I totally get that. What a bunch of biddies.
Some women seem to think they know everything about how to bring up a child. It’s absolute shite.
Good on you.
I remember when Kidder was about 12 months old and I’d taken him out in 3/4 lengths and dooddles in March/April time and this woman stopped me in the middle of Asda and told me I was irresponsible and he’d ‘catch his death’.
He didn’t. Funny that really.
Two fingers. Move on. Their problem. Interfering arsewipes.
-
Hannah (Friday 4th March 2011 @ 09:03 am) (Reply to this)
I just wish they’d mind their own bloody business. Interfering scrotums.
-
-
Beckickles (Friday 4th March 2011 @ 09:03 am) (Reply to this)
I meant that your child sounds just like mine. Hungover.com
I don’t drink by the way, much anyway but we had a tasting menu last night with a different wine for every course + 2 bellinis = slaughtered Becca.
So drunk we didn’t even ‘do it’ when we got home. Shame.
-
Hannah (Friday 4th March 2011 @ 09:03 am) (Reply to this)
The tasting evening sounds fab! I’d be the same as you – I’d be on the floor after the first course…
x
-
-
Nickie@Typecast (Friday 4th March 2011 @ 01:03 pm) (Reply to this)
*applauds*
Well said.
J used to have meltdowns and used to run off and hide. I had no end of nightmares with him and the judgemental looks that we received almost got the onlookers a smack between the eyes with a teaspoon!
-
Hannah (Friday 4th March 2011 @ 01:03 pm) (Reply to this)
Freyja’s the same. She’s a little bugger, and the last thing I need is onlookers burning judgement into the side of my head.
Tossers.
-
-
Mama Syder (Friday 4th March 2011 @ 02:03 pm) (Reply to this)
Just ignore them Hun…The looks get even dirtier when your 11 year old is rolling around on the floor kicking and screaming for the new Justin Bieber mag out! Lmao…Im joking but she is still prone to the odd strop when we are out and people just love to give out the evils…I just laugh and take no notice, I dont give a damn what they think! x
-
Hannah (Friday 4th March 2011 @ 02:03 pm) (Reply to this)
haha, I’m 27 and STILL having wobblers :P
x
-
-
Jo (Friday 4th March 2011 @ 04:03 pm) (Reply to this)
Oof so with you on this rant! It’s amazing how quickly folk forget what littlies behave like and how loud they are!
My eldest has behaviour problems, and is mid-autism assessment at the mo, we get the judgementals every smegging time we leave the house. What I find equally annoying to the ‘you should be controlling your child’ brigade, is when (normally in my experience) middle aged to older blokes come over and state how we’re spoiling her because we’ve taken her out of the shop that was scaring her/given her the crisps cos I can’t be bothered with the row/picked her up and carried her or whatever. I think they think they’re being funny.
I am dying to use this line one day, I’m sharing so you can to should the opportunity arise ‘why can’t you keep your child quiet/under control?’ ‘because she’s 3, what’s your excuse?’
Jo xx
-
Inside the Wendy House (Saturday 5th March 2011 @ 02:03 pm) (Reply to this)
Hehe…Freddy is a nightmare shopping because he hates just sitting still. He wants to be up and up it big style. He had a meltdown in Tesco the other day and I was just laughing because it was so hysterical. I got some odd looks as I tried to juggle him, my buggy and a basket of shopping down the freezer aisle. By my age I don’t care what people think. I adore my little bloke and if anyone disproves of my childrearing techniques they can say it to my face…and unleash my wrath!!!
-
Kerry (Saturday 5th March 2011 @ 07:03 pm) (Reply to this)
I am so with you on this one, I don’t know where they get off judging people like that. But I have to say you are not alone on your child not being scared about being left Baba just says bye too! Little sods! xxx
-
Roberta (Sunday 6th March 2011 @ 10:03 am) (Reply to this)
Great posting. Your little one sounds just like my niece… full of spirit. My Lily is only 11 weeks old but I hope she grows up to be a sparky, spirited little girl…. nothing worse than a push over. Thanks for poppy by to see my new blog. I love yours… the honest and matter of factness is brilliant. Thanks
Spot on, as usual.
I hate those judgmental bitches. It’s usually older women too, its like they forget that kids do sometimes have a stop.
Screw ‘em, I say. In fact, try and get Freyja to do it louder next time!