Metal Mummy

OK, this has scuppered me. I don’t have an opinion about things enough to be able to do this list easily.

This week, the lovely Kate has asked us to name the top 5 places/times in the past or future that we would travel to if we had the means to do so (I’ve always thought flushing yourself down the loo would be a fun way to travel…Bit wet perhaps, but still…just make sure you clean it first)

Anyway, unlike most weeks, I’ve HAD to read other peoples lists. Not to copy, just to be inspired. Without them giving me a little nudge, all I’d say is “My Birthday, because I can’t remember what happened” – or something along those lines…

So, my top 5 time travelling destinations are:

1) The Age of the Dinosaurs.

Kate’s blog reliably informs me this is 65 million years ago. Wow, that’s a long time ago…

I would love to go back to this age and have a nose at these ginormous beasts that instill fear in everyone. I’m sure they weren’t that bad.

I reckon they are very misunderstood creatures, and all T. Rex wanted was a nice big cuddle.

If I went back to their time, I can guarantee I wouldn’t be the one to give him that nice big cuddle, but I’d toss him a T-Bone or something to be nice. It’d have to be a ruddy big T-Bone.

2) September 2003. This is going to be a “Guess What I did” post. In September 2003, when I was at uni, I drove to Bristol with my mate to appear on the Channel 5 quiz show – Brainteaser. I’m not sure if any of you remember this ultimately naff game show, but it involved a VERY annoying blonde presenter that I was just DYING to poke with a big stick, in the studio next door to the one Noel was using for his first series of Deal or No Deal.

Anyway, it was a quiz show about words and stuff, and as I’m quite good at anagrams and crosswords etc, I got through to the final. In fact, I won £500. But, I’d love to go back to that date and GAMBLE because if I’d have done that, I’d have walked away another grand heavier.

3) The Evening of Wonders, 2008. It was the Derren Brown tour for his Evening of Wonders piece, and James & I went to see him perform in Southampton. Somehow, I got picked to go on stage for the finale. Just me. Alone. On a stage with Derren in front of a couple of thousand people.

I crapped myself.

I’d like to return to that time, not look like a blithering idiot and be remembered for being the funny one who made the audience laugh, rather than that girl who got up and almost poo’ed on the stage because she was so terrified.

4) Sometime between the 8th and 11th centuries. I’d have to take James on this one, because this is when the Vikings were around, and I’d love to see his face as he boarded a real life Viking longboat and wore a silly Viking hat, drank mead and pillaged villages.

Actually, minus the pillaging villages, he’s not far off this anyway.

5) A Time in the Future when Aliens Exist….

Because, like the T Rex, I think they are completely misunderstood, and don’t want to anally probe you or abduct you and don’t implant themselves in your stomach and shoot out of you at inopportune times.

They just want a cuddle.

Again, I’m not sure if I’d be the one to give this theory a go, but I’d like to be there.

Maybe I could take them a teddy or something. They’d like that, I’m sure. Or a walnut whip or something. Flying a spaceship must make them hungry. Maybe a can of red bull, to keep them awake for all those light years they have to fly through.

Actually, come to think of it, do aliens sleep?!

I’m talking crap. Pop over to Kate’s blog to read some more, sensible lists!