My Daughter is Freyja.

Thursday 2nd June 2011 @ 06:06 pm

Posted in General (Tags: Anonymous, Blog, Freyja, Posting)

I know this is a bit of a controversial subject. Apologies in advance. I don’t normally go into thought-provoking posts, opting instead for daft posts about poo and suchlike. But this has got to me a bit. Well, by a bit, it made me think for a good minute or 2.

I know there’s a lot of bloggers out there that don’t post pictures of their children on their blogs. I know there’s many bloggers out there that don’t mention names etc in order to protect their offspring from the nasties in the world and keep as anonymous as possible. I don’t blame them. I really don’t. It’s just not how I do things.

Mainly because, although I know that these nasties exist, if I was to think about every opportunity in which they may get to our kids, I’d go insane.

I do post pictures. I do post names. I don’t give much away about where in the world I am, other than the city. But I am quite open with stuff about my family. After all, this blog is for me. I write it for me and my future family. In the meantime, I enjoy the community of bloggers I have become a part of. When Freyja is old enough to understand, she can read back and see that I have kept a record of her and our family for as long as she has been here.

I am aware, that whilst I do this, whilst I post pictures and details, that I am exposing her and us to the Internet. I try to block out who could be watching. You may think what you will about that. But in all fairness, there’s not much to see. I don’t post horrible pictures of her that can be used and abused. I post pictures of her with Sudacrem on her face. If some nasty in the world gets hold of that and finds it arousing, then they’re 1) fucked in the head and 2) nowhere near my actual daughter.

What has made me think about this? I had a comment through last night, on my Disclosure page, from some anonymous person who’s email was “stfu@uwanker.die” of “www.google.com” – ahh, yes.. them, of course – original at least. How silly of me for not recognising their email address… They wrote,

“You do realize that you’ve exposed your child (literally) to the wartorn ravages of the internet. Everyone knows damn near everything about your child now. I wonder how many pedophiles have already looked at the pictures of your child’s body. Stop being an idiot.”

OK, so they’re not English who wrote this. English in the ‘from the UK’ sense of the word, what with their ‘realize’ and their ‘pedophile’. In fact, it’s more than likely spam, just very random spam that isn’t asking for insurance or a purchase of viagra. I haven’t accepted the comment, but it did make me think a little.

I’d be lying if I said I had never thought about this issue before. I’d considered remaining anonymous when I first started the blog, but honestly, why should I? Why should I write in a way I don’t want to write because of the bastards that may abuse it? Not like there’s anything that’s abusable. I’d be neurotic about everything if I was to dwell on things like this. So I don’t. I don’t think about it. I post what I want to read back on in the future – I don’t think about what could have possibly been gotten hold of by nasties out there. They could get hold of things any way at all – playgrounds, nurseries, anywhere. I’m not letting that affect how I write or how I go about our life. The main thing is she is with me. I have her. Safe, warm and protected. Personally, the pictures and details I post don’t affect that.

On this splended article there has been 23 comments...

TheMummyLife (Thursday 2nd June 2011 @ 06:06 pm) (Reply to this)

im exactly the same as you, I do think of these things but I also never publish anything that could be ‘abused’. People are weird and as for the comment f**k them, how rude.

I’m sure Freyja and all our little people will LOVE reading back! I know I would if they had the Internet back then!!
Xxx
Kerry (Thursday 2nd June 2011 @ 06:06 pm) (Reply to this)

Do you know what I totally agree with you. The only reason Mr L and Baba names are not on the blog, their pictures are and I am not bothered about their pictures being on there, but their names is that there is a certain person from Mr L’s past he would rather not know about Baba. I know people could say that he would recognise Mr L that is a risk we take, but I very much doubt being that he hasn’t seen him since he was nine. But that is the only reason. At the end of the day I blog the same as you it is for us as a family, and its a bloody bonus that other people read it. Do what makes you happy and you are totally right, if you worried about everything that could happen you would never go out, or get out of bed in the mornings xxx
Kat @ iRant iRave (Thursday 2nd June 2011 @ 06:06 pm) (Reply to this)

I think if I had bought my domain with the intention of blogging instead of originally using it for various professional reasons then yes I’d be happy to share. As it is, my (shortened) name is in the domain & my name, address & phone number are plastered in a ridiculous number of places from when I was teaching and doing office monkeying for record labels.

If I was that bothered I would go through all the old post and alter them but for now I’m happy with what I’m doing.
CaroleHeidi (Thursday 2nd June 2011 @ 06:06 pm) (Reply to this)

What you said!

I actually quite look forward to Tori & R4 discovering my blog and having a laugh at themselves (after they’ve finished squealing ‘I can’t believe you told the world about that’ and punching me).
xxx
JoJo (Thursday 2nd June 2011 @ 06:06 pm) (Reply to this)

oh that’s a fabulous post. I totally agree. what a bastard sending you that. x
Rebecca Eldred (Thursday 2nd June 2011 @ 06:06 pm) (Reply to this)

Some people should mind their own business x
Gygy Mum (Thursday 2nd June 2011 @ 07:06 pm) (Reply to this)

Good for you Metal Mummy, too much of these nosy parkers and their political correctness. You stick to your blogging the way you want to. Let Freyja be a child and do childish things, they grow up too quickly nowadays and are being taught things that they dont need to know at their tender ages. You are protecting her and giving her a loving home and a happy one. So to Hell with whoever hides behind such stupid email addresses. They are the ones you have to watch out for!!!!
Carol (Thursday 2nd June 2011 @ 07:06 pm) (Reply to this)

Hear hear!
Nestor (Thursday 2nd June 2011 @ 07:06 pm) (Reply to this)

Hey Hannah, don’t worry, I’ll choke em out if needs be :)
SAHMlovingit (Thursday 2nd June 2011 @ 09:06 pm) (Reply to this)

Some people are just sick – fancy sending you that..the feckers!

I must admit I feel a little uncomfortable some times but then, as you say, people can get information on you in other ways anyway.
Scribbling Mum (Thursday 2nd June 2011 @ 10:06 pm) (Reply to this)

Wow, what a total nut bar.

I have kept my girls names out of my blog because, well, that’s what I thought you did when I started it 18 months ago!

I’m careful about photos I post but I totally agree that if we thought about every single thing that *may* be out there we’d wrap our kids in cotton wool and that’s no life. Great post!
mummy@bodfortea (Friday 3rd June 2011 @ 07:06 am) (Reply to this)

Clearly a nut job. I choose to be anonymous but I’d celebrate and staunchly defend your right to do whatever the hell you want on your blog. Good for you and ignore the weirdos.
motherventing (Friday 3rd June 2011 @ 09:06 am) (Reply to this)

Ah boo, horrid spammo. What a crappy spam to get, most of it is easy to ignore but sometimes it just hits where it hurts… ie, your baby. You are doing nothing wrong, so feel strong in your convictions and send the spam to the bin in your head. *hugs*
Vickie (Friday 3rd June 2011 @ 12:06 pm) (Reply to this)

Goooooo you, and yes if you choose to post photographs and names then thats your choice x
Mrs T (Friday 3rd June 2011 @ 03:06 pm) (Reply to this)

It’s really a matter of personal taste and circumstance. I can’t reveal who I am on my blog because of my employer (known to use online activity to dismiss etc) and I also wanted to avoid ‘school gate gossips’ finding me through twitter. The worry of peadophiles/stalkers has never bothered me. However I do allow certain people to know my details and who I am.
Donna@MummyCentral (Friday 3rd June 2011 @ 09:06 pm) (Reply to this)

This is interesting because there’s two of us on our blog – and while I think “F*** it” and reveal my kids to the world, Elizabeth is more reserved and has chosen nicknames for hers – although she’s gradually come round to revealing them a bit more in pictures.
I have to respect her decision, but as someone who joined Facebook to show off pics of my kids to family and friends living far away, I think the same as you. I’m here to protect them and no bloody nasties will touch them. Within tasteful boundaries, I can show them off.
The knob who sent you the message is probably the type who campaigns to ban cameras and camcorders from the nursery nativity play. All sense of innocence is gone, in their eyes.
To me, if I’m ‘mummy blogging’ the kids are a huge part of what inspires me and makes me good. Not giving them credit or sharing their experiences means I might as well write a blog about being a brunette (with a few grey hairs)
Kate Takes 5 (Friday 3rd June 2011 @ 10:06 pm) (Reply to this)

Oh Hannah what a horrible, horrible message to get you poor thing. I agree with what you’ve written – we all know the dangers of the internet and make considered decisions about what we do and don’t post. So how would we live in this persons world? Don’t go to the beach in case a sicko is watching? Don’t let our daughters wear short dresses? Don’t take our kids outside the house? Idiot.
Livi (Friday 3rd June 2011 @ 10:06 pm) (Reply to this)

Damn right! It’s your choice, and if people tried to hide their kids from every possible predator they’d be locked in a room, not seeing family, friends, not going to school, nothing.
All for Aleyna (Monday 13th June 2011 @ 09:06 am) (Reply to this)

Brilliant. I am TOTALLY with you. My blog’s name has my little girl’s name in it. I don’t have a problem with people using nicknames, I understand their fears, but if I start worrying about nasties on the internet then quite frankly, I will end up sticking forks in my eyes. Great post xxxx
Julia (Monday 13th June 2011 @ 01:06 pm) (Reply to this)

The message you received was clearly from a nutter.

However, sharing pictures and names is not just a potential paedophilia issue. There is also the fact that you’re not giving Frejya a choice about where her image ends up.

The sudacream thing is cute and harmless, but still personal to Freyja. I’m annoyed enough at my parents sharing baby pictures of me with tomato sauce on my face with family friends, but the idea of the world having access to these private parts of my childhood (without me having a say in it) is potentially upsetting. Something posted on the internet hangs around forever.

If you just want to keep a record of your daughter’s childhood, you would have made this a private blog for friends only.

However, it’s a public blog, and you also make money out of it(adverts, sponsored posts). Whilst this isn’t nearly as exploitative as parents who make money out of beauty paegents or reality shows (or whatever), you’re still taking away your dauther’s choice to have selected moments of her childhood completely public, and you’re making money out of it.

You ask “why should I [be anonymous]?”, and the answer is because although you have the choice to be anonymous, your child doesn’t, and some might think it’s unfair that you made it for her.
- Hannah (Monday 13th June 2011 @ 01:06 pm) (Reply to this)
  
  I appreciate the points you have made. I really do.
  
  To be perfectly honest, starting this blog I had no interest in making it readable for anyone other than my family to see. I didn’t know how to make it private. Now, I am part of a whole scope of mummy bloggers who are a fabulous community to be a part of.
  
  I understand your point regarding anonymity and taking away my daughter’s choice and whatever, but as far as I’m concerned, this is a blog that I thoroughly enjoy writing. So what if I make a few extra quid off sponsored posts every now and again (which isn’t very often, I hasten to add).
  
  This blog post was to do with the nutter that did try to make me feel as though I was exposing her to paedophiles, not about my decision to make episodes in her life public. Anyway, it’s not just her I talk about. It’s family as a whole, as well as personal things and it’s definitely my choice to write about those. I hope my daughter appreciates this when she’s older. If she doesn’t, it’s something we will deal with if and when the time comes.
  
  Thanks for the comment.
Julia (Monday 13th June 2011 @ 04:06 pm) (Reply to this)

Firstly, thank you for posting my comment and for your thoughtful reply, it is a sign of your integrity.

I don’t think you are doing anything wrong in either posting the pictures or making money from the blog (quite the contrary, especially since you’re likely to spend the money on your child in the end anyway, either directly or indirectly – food, mortgage etc), but I thought it was worth raising seeing as you asked the question in your post.

As regards the spam you received, it is quite ridiculous. Where would this person propose you draw the line? You can’t take responsibility for what anyone is going to, um, “do” with the images you post, because by that logic, it would somehow be your responsibility to police what anyone is thinking when you take your child to the park, which is just silly.
- Hannah (Monday 13th June 2011 @ 04:06 pm) (Reply to this)
  
  That’s the issue I was trying to raise. If I was to worry about the pervs and horrible people out there that can get to and use our children, we wouldn’t be able to take them anywhere.
  
  The spam I received is very ridiculous. I decided not to approve that comment because it was just unreasonable. The issues you raised are indeed ones that I expected from the controversial nature of the post. Some people don’t post photos or write about their kids for this very reason. I hope my daughter will understand why I’m not one of those people.
  
  Thanks for the reply :)